One must left go
How blessed are we, for our biggest fear is not living life to it’s fullest.
I’m a big believer in growth, reaching new, excited and unexpected levels. So i want to motivate you to try so new and different things, so ways to add them to your life and benefits of learning and explorer new and different thing.
- Learning a new language/ Learning new words
- Stretching/ Laying on the ground
- Reading/ Writing
- Hiking/ Climbing
- Conversing with people
- Drawing/ Visiting a museum
- People watching
- Singing/ Playing Instruments
- Smarter brain
- Flexibility and improved posture
- Can communicate ideas better
- Improved cardio and functional strength
- Improved agility and Prediction skills
- Improved listening skills
- Improving appreciation
- Seeing different perceptions
- Rhythm and lovely voice
- Calm mind
My Example (My Growth Plan)
- Mediation (Calm.com)
- Spanish lesson (Duolingo)
- 50 push-ups & 50 sit- ups
- Breathing exercises with stretching
Each activity can go from mere moments on the guitar to thirty minutes of stretching and Frisbee to an hour of mediation and an hour of Spanish. Treat like an hobby. You want to get the most out of the activity such as peace of mind or laughter without it stressing you out in anyway even physically. Consistent will gain you strives but have equally as much fun with it if not more. This is about loving yourself and healing yourself. Be sure to listen.
I feel my foundation changing. I feel my thoughts aligning. I feel the truth in the air. Many things are becoming clear. I cant deny the things being put plainly in my sight. God doesn’t want to hide from me. He wants me to understand. I have been praying and He has answered in His time. Testing me each step of the way. Checking me every way He can. All the basics. Honesty. Love. Action. Blind Faith. Refining each one.
My last trip to the lake showed me much. Too much to discuss other than mostly what Ive known from the start. Knowing who and what I am apart. Humanity. Family. I felt like a warrior for good guided by vultures the whole way the connection to the native american roots running strong. I come home to much the same but something changed. My foundation rocked by discovery that I am no longer a man worth a woman’s time. I ask for guidance and He aligns a path. Today the day talked about in Back to the Future, October 21st 2015. I woke up from. sleeping on the floor…Zebra print blanket…not wanting to think about not wanting to think. Luckily hit up by Demarcus. Embarking on the journey I see a vulture in the distance as I turn off my street. Riding with a J rolled from the night before. A headache had kept me up and made me not smoke it. I had spent an hour in the shower trying not to vomit from anxiety. Praying to God for relief from my pain. He guided me through a painful journey of awareness of myself. Preparing me for whats ahead it seemed like.
I ponder all this and the fact that my stomach ache relates to the vulture I had just seen. Te vulture has stomach acid like no other. He literally eats death. A new concept hatched. I am an eater of death. The negative energy cannot handle me when I speak truth from my gut when I follow my gut. I’m still laughing at the thought as I pull up to Shakespeare and get in with Demarcus. We end up going to see and work on all the trap camo designs Dalton and his buddy had made. Bringing them Marco’s pizza we had ordered from in front of fresh market (which when we googled was 222ft away from the marcos pizza, just another sychronocity). The logos couldn’t have been more perfect. They got the yin and yang nature and city perfect. It felt like new dorways were opening the whole day. Running around earlier at the park catching the frisbee like never before, riding out to pike with Nick, brownie and a muffin, connecting with nature like never before, popping my back like I never had. Synergy. Perfecting alignment. Painful, scary, and fun.
I go home and before going to bed happen to go to my mom something told me to. I wanted her to watch the video I watched the night before the one that helped me get through my aching stomach and headache.. I literally meditated it away. But she was looking at this guy named Israel Afgandei. (IF nothing else made sense pay attention this is where it gets interesting) She had shown me his sister months ago she went to AUM and had wrote this really long beautiful emotional thing about being friends with a muslim girl and each one sharing friendship even being of a different religion even praying together. It was neat. Whats even more neat is that Israel is into self defense training, black belt in jiu jitsu and takwondo, is 17 already in college, and is on the whole conscious rap the world needing a voice inspired by God thing hard. He has a label in montgomery called real music. I found one band called Fall Aphelion that he had signed. An incredibely inspiring alternative soft rock band from the gump with virtually no following each one of there songs of course flowing perfectly with my feels. Their 3 song ep autoplayed into another guy named marty thompson. Hes from texas gotta song called Love Conquers All with no views on it. For some reason this autoplays into a video called Mighty God by Michael Barnes no views either. It’s a black soulful beauty. I liked it so much I tried to google him and it lead to a lead singer who wasn’t him but was a white singer of a christian band named Red. I had never heard of them but something told me to look them up. The first song was called Darkest Part. As in the darkest part he never wanted his woman to see. The next one I saw was release the panic. Then feed the machine. Which is actually the continuation of the original video. The videos hit me so hard along with the situation I was reduced to tears. Its all looking me in the face. Sing. Let Go. Its what I did at shakespeare. The only thing I could to ease the pain. Breathing like the wimhoff guy. I had to sing from the pain in my gut, just like cobain. Letting nature guide me. Trying to align to the flow. Knowing I cant let a single negative moment come into my life. Every moment must be in tune. In tune with the divine energy.
The Real music page that was israels had 111 likes my mom was the 111th. I told her and showed her what it meant and she realized that it was her calling. The video I wanted her to watch was how to find your souls purpose he was talking about nature. About how the native americans were so in tune. How we should all be.. The verse of the day was let your light shine before men so that they may see your good deeds and give glory to your Father in heaven. It seems like too much to be coincedence. As im finishing this the song Let Go is playing by Red..the license plate of my grandmother.. Its like I ask and He answers more than I can handle. Maybe scared of the answers.
Or did the love?
Maybe it just got replaced
( texting; sexting; porn)
What do I know about love?
A question I stopped asking the day I found you.
I dont know what it is about you.
You are like no other.
From a lover to a friend
We start from the outside and go in
Inside between your thighs
As you eyes glow
I go beyond
What if we could be free?
Would you love me?
Could we run away?
Could I live in your eyes
And sleep with your smile?
Would we gaze at the star
And feel the air?
Not wearing underwear
Me picking blades of grass out your hair
Sorry I don’t mean to stare
But I do
You are beautiful
And I love you
Ive felt the cold cruel fingers of abandonment creep around my heart
freeze it in place and then throw it in the dark
as i drift through the space of my inner heart without its place
i see the thin lines of love begin to erase
Many days and late nights
waiting for you to come back to my side
so many emotions i cant begin
so many emotions i cant end
it seems like tiny puppets getting pulled by the strings
every time i see you i wanna sing
how is it i get so lost in these thots
how is it i am what im not
a true soldier never leaves his post
and ill be here as long as im supposed.
My heart is weak
its all 2deep
so i write a song
to put you to sleep
to whats right and wrong.